My Experience by Ipshita Mukherjee

ipshita pic

(Please note: This is a submission for the ‘The Voice of Incredible Women of India’, and the article is being posted in it’s original form without any edits.)

Change of belief and traditions have to unlock for good

A Patriarchy Society faces emotional turmoil to the women of India. She loses the confidence and strength within herself. So being born and brought up in a Defense environment, life has always been booked with rules and regulations when I recall my childhood. Ethics, Integrity, loyalty and courage were the words I heard from my grandfather. Also being the eldest granddaughter I was pampered and spoilt. My grandmother would always long for a “GRANDSON”, the usual prejudice which every Indian family faces. Pressurizing my parents to have another baby, which according to my grandmother would be a son .Disappointed, when my sweet sister was born. This time when my mother was elated and feeling top of the world as a “Mother “, my grandmother was planning her to get rid of the baby by giving it to someone who did not have the joy of becoming Parents . This was the time when I saw my “HERO”, my “DAD” took a stand and believed that a daughter is worth a god’s gift and can never be compared with a” SON”. I have always idolized my father as a Perfect Man who is humble, generous and kind. His growing up years have always seen the discrimination between a man and a woman, In Indian household have always been encouraging their boys to work and believe in follow their dreams wherein the girl is never given an equal opportunity. I have never seen my father sitting an ordering a cup of tea  from my mother wherein helping her in household chores and taking equal initiative in bring up my sister and me as ideal women.

Even given the fact my grandfather was equally considerate towards the household chores and always took active part in the initiatives. My father holds a respectable post in Government of India but when he is at home he defines himself to be a son, husband and a father. My mother never felt that her main job was to cook and raise her children. Equal love and duties were shared by both of them. This made me realize the strength and strong bond between a husband and a wife relationship.  Which further grew with my husband too. Eg if a guests arrived at home. My parents both will be helping each other to be the best host of the day. Eg: My father always encouraged us to follow our dreams , only keeping the best phrase he usually uses,” try to achieve what you want or else you will be  force to achieve what you never wanted”. So to say our nuclear family grew with the bundles of love, respect and helping each other in need. My father is my strength, my grandfather is my friend and so for my sister too….!! My sister knew and felt that she was always deprived from the love she could ever get from my grandmother. She knew that she wasn’t liked by “dadi” because she was born as a “GIRL”. My grandmother openly discriminated us and would buy me chocolates, dresses and pampered me leaving my sister all alone. It looked as if she was responsible for her birth as a “women”. On the other hand in the same house I could see my father , grandfather and my mother loving my sister as well as me the same way.

That Day , As destiny would play with our lives, we all went to our respective work , my mother went to her aunt and only my grandmother and my sister were at home. Suddenly my grandmother felt that she was feeling dizzy and unwell, and within few minutes she was having problem in her breathing. My sister drove her to the nearest hospital , got admitted in the ICU did all the formalities considerably. Not to forget my sister is a clinical psychologist from Delhi University, cracked the most difficult exam of IBHAS (Indian Institute of Human Behavior and allied science). So she had good and strong contacts with the doctors of our nearest hospital where she sits as a visiting doctor. My grandmother was detected with severe brain hemorrhage and it was god’s grace that my sister rushed her to the hospital at the right time. She was discharged from the hospital after 15 strenuous days . As soon as she came out of the hospital , tears were rolling down her cheeks as she hugged my sister and said “ I have a son, I have a husband”, but I realized that today I have my strength tooo…. And “that’s you my Loving granddaughter”.

Life seems to be changed after this incident as words fall short that Our patriarchy society still allowed my father to follow his dreams and his daughters too. Made them capable and efficient to be independent and still be “daddy girl”.  Change of belief and traditions have to unlock for good. As many of us will still continue to long for a son , I believe in making the daughter as “SON”.

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